I cann't move forward with my report and the deadline is around the corner! Oh my god! That is the last thing I wanted! It is not my fault, not telling the lie.
Let me explain it clear. This semester I have a subject named issues of Journalism: Human Rights, Ethics and Democracy. One piece of the coureswork is to write a report recommending repeal or amendment of a piece of legislation that affects journalistic observance of human rights. It took me a long time to be obsessed with books available from the Internet and the library because back in my country we do not have any law on media and a lot of disputes between law and special rules in terms of journalism. I started my study on the relative law quite early and got lost. With little knowledge in law and media, I find myself overwhelmed by the huge information.
China, my country, has a so complicated context in its media field that an obvious gap between the western culture and itself can not be easily avoided. I do not want to just pick up one piece of legislation without enough context which need repealing or amendent because that is so irresonable for foreigners to understand and that irresposible report might even create wrong image of China. All I need is to explain the history then they can understand why we have such a nonsense law.
This kind of task is only a dream because I realise it demands more time and widom even eats some professor's whole academic life. How dare I, a green hand in journalism postgraduate study, write such report?
Ok, I think I must be a person down to the earth. I should only write something that is under my control-that is definitely the quotation from others.
The thing is when I come to this topic, I can not help myself. The emotion wants to find a place to release and I wish I can do some real things for my country such as explain more to me UK teacher. So far I have not got enough power, sad.
Every time I begin to read all materials I collected-some of them have reached out of the report, I feel so motivated to carry on my study further with more efforts. Both Chinese, including me, and foreigners need the truth. The only thing I can devote is to add a tiny voice into the history and one day tiny voices from more people can establish a better understanding of my country, my lover.
Saturday 31 October 2009
Friday 16 October 2009
I am fooled by who I love so deeply
Having spending more than twenty years in China, I never had a feeling of something wrong. Everytime I red overseas media criticising on the Chinese Governmenr, I held a view that how can you know better than our Chinese? And ironically I did look them down for their cross-line behaviour.
But that time never comes back.
It seems that they make sense. China tends to hide too much things which is very concerned about our people, such as the unfairness everywhere. I don't mean that these have been perfectly solved in so-called more developing countries; what I want to emphasise is we lack the transparent much much more than any other countries.
I thought, when I was in China, India is a poor country short of food and houses, let alone the democracy in any field. I held this bias when I met some Indian classmates. To my surprise, they told me that the media in India is market controll! How come? Suddenly I realise I was fooled. I thought I knew the world without any bias because my country is a wonderland where we support fairness, justice etc.
Sign.
The reason that I feel bad is because I love my country. Now it comes to a doubt. When I talk about love, isn't it too pantisan? Comparing with the students from many other countries, I suddenly realise that banning websites in China is the most terrible thing in the world! Facebook, BBC Chinese, twitter are not, what they claimed, the platforms full of reactionary. In addition, Chinese development is far from satisfaction. GDP is the misleading criteria to judge the economy. Chinese people are, what a shame, ingnorant to the truth. The fact is we are fooled.
There are too many books can not pass through China's strict censorship, thus no chance for me to know the truth. Too many journalists, intelligents or honest people are unfairly treated or even sent into prison, but the fact is buried. The elder generation becomes conservative; the new generation is led by commercials and superficial knowing. One day we will be fooled just because we are too short-sight to foresee the damage in our nation.One day we change into sheeps but other peoples wolf. How to survive? Should we take their invation as a way to show out board tolerance just as what we Chinese people are doing right now? We keep silience during our life even when we know clearly that it should not be that way! And we keep teaching our next generation to follow our steps. That so-called ways of surviving is definitely a perfect excuse!
I don't want to challenge the leader right now because that makes no sense. Even I have red more than the majority and I keep an eye on the quite a lot of range of things, still, I lack the facts. I need a foreigner to describe Chinese issues for me. I hate selected news at home, on the other hand, I won't take all from foreigners. I just want the fact you know and I will form my own opinion on the basis of my knowledge- not like 1984.
Not regret living that long in China, I hate regret. To admit I am fooled is the last thing I want but it happened.
Luckily, I realised finally. I wish this is the last time I admit.
But that time never comes back.
It seems that they make sense. China tends to hide too much things which is very concerned about our people, such as the unfairness everywhere. I don't mean that these have been perfectly solved in so-called more developing countries; what I want to emphasise is we lack the transparent much much more than any other countries.
I thought, when I was in China, India is a poor country short of food and houses, let alone the democracy in any field. I held this bias when I met some Indian classmates. To my surprise, they told me that the media in India is market controll! How come? Suddenly I realise I was fooled. I thought I knew the world without any bias because my country is a wonderland where we support fairness, justice etc.
Sign.
The reason that I feel bad is because I love my country. Now it comes to a doubt. When I talk about love, isn't it too pantisan? Comparing with the students from many other countries, I suddenly realise that banning websites in China is the most terrible thing in the world! Facebook, BBC Chinese, twitter are not, what they claimed, the platforms full of reactionary. In addition, Chinese development is far from satisfaction. GDP is the misleading criteria to judge the economy. Chinese people are, what a shame, ingnorant to the truth. The fact is we are fooled.
There are too many books can not pass through China's strict censorship, thus no chance for me to know the truth. Too many journalists, intelligents or honest people are unfairly treated or even sent into prison, but the fact is buried. The elder generation becomes conservative; the new generation is led by commercials and superficial knowing. One day we will be fooled just because we are too short-sight to foresee the damage in our nation.One day we change into sheeps but other peoples wolf. How to survive? Should we take their invation as a way to show out board tolerance just as what we Chinese people are doing right now? We keep silience during our life even when we know clearly that it should not be that way! And we keep teaching our next generation to follow our steps. That so-called ways of surviving is definitely a perfect excuse!
I don't want to challenge the leader right now because that makes no sense. Even I have red more than the majority and I keep an eye on the quite a lot of range of things, still, I lack the facts. I need a foreigner to describe Chinese issues for me. I hate selected news at home, on the other hand, I won't take all from foreigners. I just want the fact you know and I will form my own opinion on the basis of my knowledge- not like 1984.
Not regret living that long in China, I hate regret. To admit I am fooled is the last thing I want but it happened.
Luckily, I realised finally. I wish this is the last time I admit.
Tuesday 13 October 2009
why don't we ask or speak?
Having had classes for more than one week, we Chinese students seldomly say anything about during the course although we make up the majority of the student amount.
Actually this is not a new phenomenon all over the world. Maybe some areticles have already criticised on the lack of our Chinese education. We do not use to doubts on anything. I guess it is really easy to doubt inside rather than express in front of people. My explaination for this is the fact that we are not born in a place free to report, not only in term of news but also in daily life, which I believe is the root reason. Because in my personal experience-I am not telling lies-I was told not to mention some politically sensitive things by my parents. Many foreigners wonder why you are afraid. If all of you fight for the freedom of expression, you Chinese people may have already got it.
But aren't Chinese people so stupid that they can not save themselves?
Back to 2 years ago, Gao Yaojie, who is the first person reveal the aids in a small country in Henan, was once under house arrest. Her 45-year-old son was forced to knee in front of her. The purpose is to "forbidden" her, in one way or another, from receiving a NGO prize given by Hilary for her efforts on human rights and benefits. Her book was also banned to publish in Mainland.
Back to some journalists like Qin Benli, Zhang Weijian etc. Their article expressed theri concerns about the society and all emotion were from the bottom love of hear for the country. Ironically they are definitely treated unfair and their books became the banned ones. Liu Binyan, who had so much passion to the country,sadly died in America never had a chance to be back becasuse his visa was cancelled during his visit to an America University.
And so on.
My Chinese classmate, I don't mean all of them, are too naive to receive all the message from China media only. They are never told like these people's true story. However I won't take the Western's point of view that Chinese people are under authoritarian controll. The thing is the government is too afraid to make any mistake. The more freedom they give, the more chaos the country will be. To some extent it is true. With such a huge population, if China sneezes, the whole world will shake.
Never jump into the inclination that Chinese is lack of human rights. In the context of real China we are trying to change this satuation. But now the majority suffered from the culture revolution thirty years ago, suffered from Tian'anmen Event twenty years ago. How dare they live withou that kind of nightmare memory? How dare they run the risk of their one precious child senting into prison? China is China.
No wonder that we don't ask or speak during classes. It is because we do not want to scare the world.
Actually this is not a new phenomenon all over the world. Maybe some areticles have already criticised on the lack of our Chinese education. We do not use to doubts on anything. I guess it is really easy to doubt inside rather than express in front of people. My explaination for this is the fact that we are not born in a place free to report, not only in term of news but also in daily life, which I believe is the root reason. Because in my personal experience-I am not telling lies-I was told not to mention some politically sensitive things by my parents. Many foreigners wonder why you are afraid. If all of you fight for the freedom of expression, you Chinese people may have already got it.
But aren't Chinese people so stupid that they can not save themselves?
Back to 2 years ago, Gao Yaojie, who is the first person reveal the aids in a small country in Henan, was once under house arrest. Her 45-year-old son was forced to knee in front of her. The purpose is to "forbidden" her, in one way or another, from receiving a NGO prize given by Hilary for her efforts on human rights and benefits. Her book was also banned to publish in Mainland.
Back to some journalists like Qin Benli, Zhang Weijian etc. Their article expressed theri concerns about the society and all emotion were from the bottom love of hear for the country. Ironically they are definitely treated unfair and their books became the banned ones. Liu Binyan, who had so much passion to the country,sadly died in America never had a chance to be back becasuse his visa was cancelled during his visit to an America University.
And so on.
My Chinese classmate, I don't mean all of them, are too naive to receive all the message from China media only. They are never told like these people's true story. However I won't take the Western's point of view that Chinese people are under authoritarian controll. The thing is the government is too afraid to make any mistake. The more freedom they give, the more chaos the country will be. To some extent it is true. With such a huge population, if China sneezes, the whole world will shake.
Never jump into the inclination that Chinese is lack of human rights. In the context of real China we are trying to change this satuation. But now the majority suffered from the culture revolution thirty years ago, suffered from Tian'anmen Event twenty years ago. How dare they live withou that kind of nightmare memory? How dare they run the risk of their one precious child senting into prison? China is China.
No wonder that we don't ask or speak during classes. It is because we do not want to scare the world.
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